Thoughts and Adultery

I was in a restaurant having lunch with my girlfriends and a drop dead gorgeous man walked in. He was tall, athletic built and slightly greying in temples with ocean blue eyes. He must have been in mid forties and was dressed in blue jeans and white shirt which happens to be my favorite ensemble for men and women. He walked with a panthers grace and he had that awareness that he was one of the God's finest creations. An "aah" was let out by most of the girls, suddenly the girls start whispering in hush hush tones. Someone wanted to kidnap him and others wanted to get kidnapped by him. It was a moment where we all felt like teenagers and single. We are all happily married and aspire stability with our husbands except when guys like him come and create ripples in quiet waters of our emotions. One conscientious one reminded us that we are married and the other fiesty one snapped "so, does not mean our feelings are dead" and further added that our husbands ogle at pretty girls all the time.

Driving back from the lunch the incident flash backed in my head followed by my analytical thoughts. The first question that came in my mind was, what was that? Is that not some kind of adultery. Thinking about and admiring another person even in imagination is considered adultery for married people and if that is so then every married person is guilty of that crime. I've heard that men can go to extreme limits with their thoughts.

I'm a happily married woman with a doting and a very loving husband. When I met him and after his continuous flirting I fell head over heels for him. I use to pray to God to get us married and I promised to God that I will never ask for anything else if he got us married. It was a blatant lie as I have never stopped asking for more. Our relationship might not be as exciting as the first kiss but he is my happy place enough times to keep me going. The point here is that we are still happily married notwithstanding our fights and arguments.

So how do we explain the behavior in the restaurant? I heard that society follows the serial monogamy and it is ok to have multiple relationships as long as one succeeds another . If that is so then being in relationship with one and having fantasies of another person should classify the thoughts as maladaptive. Maybe, we all need some Cognitive behavior therapy. Are these"negative schemas" constitue betraying your partner or just some passing emotions. Remember thoughts are without any barriers and they can go to any extreme. Imaginatively a person can cross all boundaries and gallop into the fantasy land where the only limit is your imagination. I'm still debating where to classify these thoughts, I know that they are not punishable by law, yet they cannot be discussed openly in public. Thoughts??